In My Dreams

Look Out, be vigilant, hide. There is a constant threat which reaches all corners of America. The threat that dreams might come TRUE… In my dreams, I can’t run away, I can’t scream, I can’t hold onto slippery papers. That ‘coming true’ would lead to an impossibly frustrating world. Various pop-science media have told me that this could be caused by my own brain. This rogue sleeping brain keeps my body from moving while I’m sleeping. Terrifying. (Hypocrisy alert: I find it hilarious when this happens to my dog.) Stop that, Brain! Or I’ll kill your cells with whiskey! Serious note: This does happen to people, when they are awake. Some people are not able to run, scream or hold onto papers, those dreams do, actually come true. Assuage your guilt with charity.

If my fluffy, life-goal dreams actually occurred in my sleep I would wake up every morning and feel depressed by the state of my actual, current life. The beautiful house my wicked, sleeping brain can imagine makes me want to snooze. I never snooze. Ok, sometimes I snooze. When I have those dreams and time, I’ve been known to snooze. When I go back in that dream, I have reaffirmed my values, I spend all my dream time relaxing in my giant bathtub (overflowing with bubbles,) yelling at people (whom I can’t yell at in real-life) or just eating a bunch of butter (with no consequence.) Go, sleeping brain, go.